2012 woes

Being a horse owner is never easy, neither is having to make the decisions that come with it. Julie has had a rough month. It's been one thing after another since Dec. 11th and we're both exhausted and tired.
She had a fever and lymphangitis, She is anemic and won't eat. She keeps rocking all of her weight on her front end and I'm worried she's developed laminitis. I'm waiting for her to colic. She might have ulcers.
She's lost so much weight and I don't know if the foal is ok or not.

She needs so much attention and care and I cannot give it to her physically, mentally, emotionally or financially. I'm beyond stupid. I don't think she's going to get better. She's losing that will to live and I'm losing hope. She doesn't like sharing me and I'm just tired of dealing with her. I'm tired of everything. 2013 is going to be full of tears just like 2012 was.

I think 2013 might see me walk away from horses permanently.

November Nuances

So, it's been a while since I posted on here. It seems like everything is flying by and this year is taking me on a far, far away ride.

Julie is doing pretty well, she's gotten fat. Not baby fat but fat, fat so she's had her food cut back. Also she still isn't moving very soundly and I think we need a new farrier. A part of me just wants to sell Julie and buy a gelding that is in shape and ready to compete. The cost of having two horses is really getting to me.

What did I get myself into.

Even though I think I should sell Julie I am still looking at buying more horses and dreaming of my breeding/training farm.

Here is the stallion I want to buy:
Admired by All

I could register him as a Trakehner and as an American Warmblood (with the American Warmblood Registry)

The other mare I want for my breeding farm right now is this beauty:
Xena

Which means I really need to get a truck and trailer and my own property.

Oh yea, there's that whole money thing again.

My goal is to have a horse farm where I breed Trakehners and American Warmbloods for eventing and as solid all around mounts.

There's that saying...

If wishes were horses, dreamers would ride. I'm definitely a dreamer and now I just need to find the right path to ride my horses down.

If only my brain would get to work and start creating more stories so that I can eventually make enough money to buy a horse farm
Like this one

I don't need a house I just need a nice barn with land.

45 Day Check

So I haven't been very good about posting on this blog but I have been a little busy... what with working full time and stressing out about whether or not Julie is still pregnant but my worries are unfounded. This makes me wonder what I'll be like if I'm ever pregnant. A post for a different blog at a different time.
Here is a video of Fae's 45 day check and guess what you can totally see Fae's head

Here is another. Fae is getting so big!

It's Official, Official

Here's Fae!!!

My gorgeous baby! So amazing

It's Official

It's official! The vet came out today and confirmed that Julie is in foal. My vet will come out again in 10 days and I'll get to see the heart beat!

Julie and I are definitely much more relaxed now that I know my money wasn't wasted and that my dream is coming true. She certainly knows she's pregnant. She's been acting differently and has been very careful around other horses. She also doesn't pee outside anymore but instead waits to pee until she is in her stall.

She's already moving differently and if she is anything like her dam, Julie is going to get "as big as a house" I'm just happy that Fae looks great (even though she is just a mass of cells right now).
This is certainly going to be an adventure. There was a lot of other things I wanted to include in this post but I'm too tired and relieved to expand on my thoughts.

I'll post the Ultrasound when I get it.

Stress in the Head

Who would have thought there was so much stress and worry when it comes to creating a life. I'd much rather plan for a foal than a human babe...

It seems that I  under planned and that I am out of the funds I thought would last me the year.

The vet is supposed to come out this week to check and see if Julie is pregnant but I don't know if I have the money to do that.

This past week was nice- no vet visits and no disruptions; both Julie and I were happy to be able to relax.

I can't stress her out, but how much stress is too much stress? What am I to do. She's peed in her stall a lot lately and every day I clean out her stall I always wonder if she expelled a microscopic ball of cells and if I tossed 3000 into the trash.

So much stress and I know she feels it. Why, oh why did I allow myself to be fooled into thinking I could afford this.

Dreams achieved and Dreams lost. Hopes found and Hopes destroyed.

Am I the only one who fears dreaming too much? Am I the only one who wonders if Hope disguises a more malevolent emotion....


Of course I wanted to write a cutesy post about Julie's progress and all that stuff but all I feel is fear and worry; did I do something stupid?

Most probably yes.

Two Weeks' Notice

The vet will come back in two weeks to check Julie to see if she is pregnant.
She can do everything she normally does but she shouldn't be stressed because if she is the pregnancy is the first thing to go.

Considering I haven't been in a good mood and I feel anger bubbling under my skin these next two weeks are not going to be good. At least I have three days off next week.

Yesterday the stallion at my work decided to test me and tried to bite me. He didn't succeed and in his overzealous backing up he somehow landed/stepped on my right foot and it's all swollen but nothing is broken.

Oh yea, check out Cosmo's shoulder

It's a running horse! How cool is that.

I hope Fae has color. I love bays but I want something more than just a bay with a star (although I love bays with stars).

The Start of a Life

Yesterday at around 5 PM Julie was inseminated with the first dose of semen. It's surreal. I can't believe that she will be having a foal. My dream is finally coming true. Of course there will be lots of stress and worries and "I can't believe I thought this was a good idea" moments but in 11 months Julie's baby will be a reality.

She was a superstar about being bred. She didn't need any kind of drugs and she was very good about everything. Afterwards I had to walk her around for a bit to prevent her peeing right away. She knows that something is up. I'm sure she's figured out that we are breeding her and the whole barn has been on edge these past few days. It's been kind of stressful having all of these horses grumpy and clamoring for my attention. I wonder if they all realize that Julie's going to have a baby.

So my friends want to throw me a baby shower and I'm excited about that. It's amazing to think that Julie is going to have a foal. I wonder who is going to be more protective; me or her. Hopefully she won't reject the foal and hopefully she'll be OK when she foals out. Hopefully I'll have the money I need to pay for everything.

Money is my biggest worry right now.

Here is a picture of Julie that I took while walking her in our round pen.

Here is the container the semen came in:

It's strange to think that two small cells can create a large 1200 lb horse. 

Here's the the beginning of a new journey. There is more to the story about the container getting to us. If I remember to write about it later I will.

The Next Step

The shot I gave Julie on Friday dissolved the CL on her left ovary. She is in a good heat and we will be breeding her this Thursday.
Fingers crossed that everything will go smoothly.

I already know the foal's name:
Fate's Juwel

I hope the foal is a filly.

Other good news it looks like she is only going to ovulate on her left ovary which means no twins and that is a very good thing.

Now that it's heading towards the next step I am starting to freak out about money. I'm crazy for doing this. I can afford one horse on my salary but not two and there is no way I'm selling either horse.

Ugh, well, I guess I better stop spending money and I should start saving it.

Fate is my vacations and my new cars and my new clothes and my free time. Fate is my opportunities to travel. All of the other things I want to do I have to give up.

Maybe the foal's barn name with be Faye.

Yea I think it'll be Faye or Fae or Fey or Fay. I'm not sure yet I don't like the "t" in Fate. It's a hard sound and I don't think it'd last as a barn name for 25+ years.

My horses' names were/are: Maggie, Mikey, Julie and I leased a horse named Katie but the 't' in Katie is softened by the 'i' which Fate doesn't have.

So scroll down on this page those pictures make me so excited for next July (if everything goes smoothly)

I hope I can pay for everything. I feel grey hairs growing.

Time for a Hormone change

Horses never seem to do what you want them to do. Julie has decided not to go into heat; when the vet came out on Wednesday to check her she still had a huge CL on her left ovary (which means she wasn't going into heat any time soon). He gave me a hormone to short cycle her- it's called estrumate and what it does is that it dissolves the CL and she goes into heat. He said that she'll probably go into a really strong heat by Sunday and that we will be breeding her next week. The down side to this drug is that she is more likely to have twins but since it is dangerous for horses to have twins he is going to have to pinch (abort) one of the zygotes to prevent her from aborting both of them around the 9th month of her pregnancy.

I don't want to have to chose a foal to abort. It's a loss of a life and although it'll only be a ball of cells when he pinches it I still get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it.

Now that the initial "yippeee! I get to breed my horse!" has worn off I'm starting to add up the numbers in my head and it's beginning to hit me that I am doubling (if not tripling) my horse expenses and the ball is rolling too fast now to stop it. 

Am I crazy? How on earth am I going to be able to do this. I want a foal from her so badly but I don't know if I can afford it and I can't dig myself into another financial hole.

My high school animal science teacher said that you only want to breed a mare if you want an exact replica of her. At least I'm breeding Julie for exactly that reason. 

The waiting game

I never thought I'd be waiting for my mare to go into heat. Usually I say oh, great she'll going to be ridiculous for the next couple of days because all she wants to do is be with other horses. This is the first time I've ever wanted her to go into heat. I want to get her breed before it gets too late in the season and it seems like it is taking forever for her to hit estrous. My dreams are filled with Julie having a baby but me not being the one to raise it or me not seeing it born or me losing the foal in some disaster. Financially I'm set for now but I have to keep reminding myself that the first year of the foal's life is going to be very expensive. I just hope I can save enough money to keep both of them; otherwise I'm going to have to choose between mother and daughter and I couldn't do that.
I'm so worried that Julie won't get in foal/ that I'm being very foolish by breeding her.

it comes down to the fact that no other horse is Julie's baby. No other horse is out of her. I know there are plenty of rescues out there and I'll donate some food to one of them come winter but I just want a foal from Julie; I always have and I always will.

Fingers crossed that she gets pregnant from the first insemination and that I'll be able to keep to a budget and save my money so that I can keep both of them.

Julie's Baby

New Beginnings are something I'm getting used to. In a week or so if all goes well a new life will be brought into existence because of my planning and my decision. I'm having a baby! Well, my mare is having a baby as long as she conceives when she is artificially inseminated this coming week. In eleven months I'll have a foal on the ground and I hope, hope, hope that I can plan for everything. I hope that I'm not making a stupid decision. There is no way I'd be able to sell Julie or the foal. I'm too attached to both of them.
I hope I have a filly, I honestly don't know what I'd do if I had a colt as I'm a mare person.

Anyways. I hope the foal has some color because I don't want a boring bay.

The vet said Julie's in great health and now I just have to hope I have the funds needed for the vet check ups.

Today was a fantastic day. Well, I was late for the vet appointment which means I only saw half of the exam but next time I'll make sure I get to the barn very early.

I went to Beval's today and I got measured for custom boots (and ordered them) I bought Julie a new bridle that matches her saddle and I bought new stirrups that are pretty awesome; I also bought a new pair of breeches and half chaps and paddock boots. I know I'll use everything I bought since I'm riding all the time. It felt good to be able to buy what I need. Things are looking up I just hope I can afford two horses and that Julie has an easy pregnancy.

My roommate and my co-worker want to throw me a baby shower. It's weird that everyone says I'm having a baby but I guess it's true. I'm the one who is planning for the foal; I'm the one who decided to breed for her. So in a very real sense I am having a baby!!!

The sire is: http://www.tylordfarm.com/cosmophotos.html

I'll try to keep on updating.

I own a Trakehner

I am a horse crazy woman whose heart has been stolen by the beautiful german warmblood breed- Trakehners.

My mare is a bay trakehner and I hope to breed her this summer ot get my second trakehner.
I'll be posting about her on here and I'll post about general horse stuff.

I live in southern Connecticut and I am living my dreams.

That's a Trakehner look right there

This was after only being ridden three times in the last month and jumping  only once before the show. She's so good to me

What ever we do, we do it together.