Stress in the Head

Who would have thought there was so much stress and worry when it comes to creating a life. I'd much rather plan for a foal than a human babe...

It seems that I  under planned and that I am out of the funds I thought would last me the year.

The vet is supposed to come out this week to check and see if Julie is pregnant but I don't know if I have the money to do that.

This past week was nice- no vet visits and no disruptions; both Julie and I were happy to be able to relax.

I can't stress her out, but how much stress is too much stress? What am I to do. She's peed in her stall a lot lately and every day I clean out her stall I always wonder if she expelled a microscopic ball of cells and if I tossed 3000 into the trash.

So much stress and I know she feels it. Why, oh why did I allow myself to be fooled into thinking I could afford this.

Dreams achieved and Dreams lost. Hopes found and Hopes destroyed.

Am I the only one who fears dreaming too much? Am I the only one who wonders if Hope disguises a more malevolent emotion....


Of course I wanted to write a cutesy post about Julie's progress and all that stuff but all I feel is fear and worry; did I do something stupid?

Most probably yes.