Two Years Fly By

Looking at the posts from over a year ago- it makes me cringe to see how stressed out and in need of help I was.

Lexy (Lexie) went to get chemotherapy at Cornell University. I surrendered her to a rescue last April. Lexy is doing well but the chemo didn't work as well as we had hoped. I haven't seen her in over a year.

My two Trakehners and I have moved around a lot in the past year. I'm finally getting back on my feet. Well, for the most part. As it stands right now, I am working full time and not doing much by way of horse time. Most days I do what I need to do and then go home. The horses are twenty minutes from my house.... Since I do rough board that means I'm at the barn twice a day. Forty minutes of driving a day is definitely a downer.

Also, I feel guilty. Like I should sell them so I can pay down my debts. Why do I keep holding on to them when logic and good sense tells me to cut my losses. I got myself way in over my head and here I am pretending everything is fine and dandy when it's not.

I'm questioning my sanity right now.


I was writing for the American Trakehner Association but my new job pretty much takes all of my energy and writing for the ATA is more than I can swallow at the moment. It seems like life is too much to swallow. I keep thinking today will be different. Today will be better.

My paranoia is kicking in- I keep thinking someone is going to come and take my horses from me but I can't think like that. I can't draw that negative energy towards me. I have to believe that a miracle will happen. That my hardwork and determination aren't going to blow up in my face.

Fae is a lovely filly. She's gorgeous. Her trot and canter are both floaty and I can't wait  help but wonder what it will be like to ride her. That is if I ever get enough energy to do anything more than daydream about riding.

Everything is so much work and honestly, it feels like no one understands why I'm pitching such a bitch fit. The stress of keeping them is wearing away my optimism more than anything else. If keeping them is stressing me out so much then why do I keep them? Why do I still dream of riding when the thought of grooming them makes me want to curl up and cry. Why do I do this to myself. If I loved them, really loved them I would sell them to people who could care for them properly. I'm being selfish and I wonder if my selfishness is detrimental to them.

 These aren't the greatest photos of them. I'm feel hollow. Like I have to make a decision and I know what the answer should be but every day I tell myself I'll make that decision tomorrow.



Oh and this was Fae in August of 2013

Check out my other blog

http://sanityequalshorses.wordpress.com/

This is where I've been posting my blog posts related to horses. Of course there is much more going on than what I post but I try to keep pretty regular posts.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Lexy and her lessee love each other. I'm so excited for them. Eventually, the lessee will buy Lexy; which is great for everyone involved.

Which means I needed to make some other changes.

I have fought long and hard to keep Julie and Fae but I have nothing left. I have no more fight, no more ways to keep them.

So they are up for sale.

I know, I'm a horrible horse owner. I was stupid. What is more stupid is not being able to pay their bills and more importantly not able to pay my bills. I have narcolepsy and it is hard for me to function; let alone hold a full time job. My narcolepsy is getting worse and I cannot continue to own them and hope everything will magically get better.
If I can't feed them or put bedding in their stalls then I have no right to think I should keep owning them. That is stupid thing to believe in.
I'm thankful for the opportunity to own them and I will make sure that they find a good home.

http://newhaven.craigslist.org/grd/4249975372.html

I have two people coming to look at them this afternoon.

Update

The lovely horses in my life are doing well.

If only the good times lasted longer than they do.

Tuesday Morning Update

Where do I begin. How do I relate to my readers and convince them that helping me during this tough time will also help them. 

Or maybe I should say that my readers' generosity will help keep the horses in my life happy. As well as help Fae grow big and strong. 

The ultimate goal for Fae is the Olympics.

Which means a lot of time and lots of money.

Right now, I am trying to secure a job that can provide financial support for my long term Olympic goals. Short term my money situation is pretty bleak. 

The horses don't have any grain.

They go through about 150 lb of grain a week (go through one bag every 2 1/2 days). Right now I am working 11-12 hours days with minimal results and so I have very little time to care for them. I want to provide for them but I am having trouble on the financial and time management front.

So if you have a dollar or two in your bank account (which I don't, actually) and you have any interest in seeing these horses stay with me please contribute to this fund.

It's not a huge amount but every bit helps and at some point in everyone's life they need help. I just hope that one day I get the opportunity to help out others like I've had so many people help me out.

Also please pass this along as the more people who read it the more responses we get. Facebook is inundated with "help this pet or help that one" and I'll admit I've grown numb to those photos. You do know me though, you know my struggles. Read my blog, read how I've gone through the ups and downs. The fears and the hopes of striving for this goal. You know who I am and you can come and see my horses in person if you want. I am not perfect, but I do love my horses and I only want what is best for them. So help the horses or help me or contribute to a better tomorrow or the restart of a dream.

I dream of a better future and I hope you do too.

http://www.microgiving.com/cause/help-feed-fae

Update On The Girls

I've been in a bit of a flux lately. Not sure if the horses were staying or going and it turns out the answer was both.
As in the moved from their old barn to a place much closer to me- a place that suits our needs much better. All three loaded and trailered like a dream. Fae was fantastic. Takes after her mom 100% and Lexy was great too.
The other great thing about the new place is that the three of them get turned out together. I was extremely nervous to put the three of them in one paddock so we turned them out in the ring which is huge. They immediately galloped around for a bit, Julie pinned her ears at Lexy and Lexy respected the warnings. Now Julie and Lexy are best buddies and Fae gets to do her own thing. Lexy acts like she was Julie's foal at one point and is now grown up. It is a very weird thing to watch... Julie mothers both of them but also lets them do what they want. Lexy has gotten more relaxed now that she is turned out with Julie. I'm sure they've communicated to each other and Julie has told Lexy that I'm a nice person- at least I hope so.
At any rate I lead the three of them together and they are fine. A perfect little herd.
Here is a photo I took this morning.

Here is the video of their first time out together. No bucking or biting, just a few ear twitches and glares.

Where we are now

In the past two months I went from having one horse to three. I quit my job and spent some time recuperating from several years of emotional strain. I also witnessed several of my dreams being fulfilled and I got to live the dream. For a few days at least.
Dreams need money to fuel them and I lack that money. I don't want to admit it but I have to. I made a huge mistake. I messed up and I have dragged too many people into this.
Why do I post this on here instead of on my other blog?
Because this is specifically about my horses.
I don't have any more grain for them and I have no money to buy more. I am out. I have hay but these guys need grain to fuel their bodies. Julie is producing milk, Fae is growing quickly and Lexy is putting on weight.
I will not be a hoarder and hold on to my animals when doing so would make their health go down hill.
I will not be that person on the news who is seen as a misinformed animal person who was too prideful to let go of their horses.
I love my horses and I have done whatever I could to keep them fat, happy and healthy.
I can no longer do that.
It is my mistake. I own that mistake. I took on too much and now my animals are paying the price.

My loss is the opportunity for someone or several people to buy several amazing animals.

FOR SALE (or long term free lease): Immediate sale! 

FEINJUWEL

Excellent broodmare and excellent under saddle horse. Three amazing gaits and a lovely personality. Clips, loads, trailers quietly. A dream horse that will do what ever you ask of her. An older mare that looks and acts half her age. Would be a fantastic broodmare. Seen above with her 2013 filly by Lord Cosmo.
Did I mention she has amazing bloodlines and that she is a registered Trakehner. They don't breed them like this anymore.
Price is firm at $3500

FOR SALE:

Fate's Jewel
2013 Trakehner Chestnut filly out of Feinjuwel (by Kronjuwel) and by Lord Cosmo.
Are you looking for royalty and beauty and brains?
If so then you have found her. She is a miracle baby with the sweetest, most personable attitude I have ever met. This filly is something I wanted for a long time but unfortunately finances forces sale. She was born August 6th 2013 and will be weaned by spring 2013. She has beautiful movement and good bone structure. I can go on and on about her but the truth is one look and she'll steal your heart as well.
Priced at $12,000 she is a steal at this price. She will be worth five times that amount in a few years. She is a great investment opportunity and I would consider offering partnerships in co-ownership if you would rather own part of a horse but not have to deal with the day to day care.

 

This filly is sure to please who ever buys her as she has the athletic ability to go in any direction. She stands to be groomed, picks up her feet, leads and takes dewormer fine. Has had extensive desensitization training. An excellent addition to any horse lover dreams. Buy her now before her price increases upon weaning.

FOR SALE (or long term free lease):

GALEXY 

 A 2005 Blue Roan Medicine hat pinto mare this girl has lots of love to give. Originally I had planned to use her as a lesson horse/ training project but my time and budget do not allow for those plans. She came from Camelot and went through quarantine. She is up to date on deworming, teeth floating and hooves as well as shots. This girl is skittish and requires a patient hand. She has learned to trust me in the past two and half months I have owned her and she is a very sweet horse. She has been lunged and has had a saddle on but no riding training. She wants to please. This girl is really special and really deserves a special someone to take care of her. 

I think she would best be suited as a companion horse as she has multiple (I mean multiple) lumps and bumps. It is most likely some form on equine cancer but do not let that scare you away. Equine cancer is different than human cancer and she has plenty of life left to live. She is a relatively easy keeper and loves being in a stall. She leads quietly. Loads and picks up her feet. She will do what ever you ask of her as long as you are quiet and gentle. This mare is a diamond in the rough looking for someone willing to polish her up real nice. She loves other horses and is extremely submissive. Not a mean bone in her body.

Ideally I would like to make back what I've put into her but I really want to find someone who is the right fit for her. She can be registered with the pinto association for less than $200. She would make a great broodmare. She loves my 2013 foal.

She could be a riding horse as she seems to enjoy working. She has three lovely gaits and moves like a horse twice her size. She would throw beautiful foals.

All offers will be considered

All horses are for immediate sale. Those interested in Feinjuwel and Fate's Jewel take note that Fae won't be ready to be weaned until February 2014. If someone was interested in both Feinjuwel and Fate's Jewel I would sell them together for $14,000. Alone Feinjuwel is $3500 and Fate's Juwel is $12,000. Will consider payment options as long as buyer can prove they have the funds for the long term care of these animals. 

Feinjuwel and Fate's Jewel won't be able to leave where they are until February 2014. Month to month cost is to be split between buyer and seller.

Galexy is ready to leave at any time.

Videos of all three are available upon request.

Serious inquiries only.

Contact:

Felicia Fountain

5853653205

Felicia.j.Fountain@gmail.com